To those who have hurt me & to those I have hurt:

We cause others pain because we ourselves are in pain. The sooner that idea rings true to you, the sooner you are able to release what it is that you are holding on to. Understanding this sentiment is the only thing that has brought me peace in the most painful times in my life.  I think searching for closure from a situation is simply the search for understanding- but we don’t actually need it from the person who hurt us. If we wait on a person to be sorry before we forgive them, we put ourselves in this limbo between pain and recovery and it becomes impossible to catapult past it. Self-sabotage at its finest. When we realize that pain is a reflection of pain, it is easier to move on and move forward and spend our time not on overthinking or regretting, but on becoming. We have to remember that everyone has had different feelings and experiences that have shaped who they become- a person’s upbringing or relationships or influences will alter their perception, just like yours have done for you. People do not see things in the same way- so why do we expect them to not only understand the intensity of the grief they have caused us, but also to be genuinely sympathetic about it? You probably will never get the apology you’re looking for. The person who hurt you will probably never see things the way you see them. This is why we can’t wait for explanations or clarification. We can’t let someone else’s varying viewpoint on a situation stagger our own path.

You are your own closure.


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