I think it’s really amazing to see how much the people you surround yourself with impact the path you take. I’ve always heard “you are who your friends are” but it never has held so much weight in my life until recently. I’ve been lucky enough to have a small group of friends that I’ve grown up with, people that are more like family than they are friends, people that are effortless to be around and who really truly love and care about each other’s well being. But, being that they have been such a part of me for so long, they became my comfort zone and I needed to shake that a bit. Nobody grows from surrounding themselves with only like minded people.
Moving to a town where I knew no one and spending 40 hours a week in a small PT office, my coworkers naturally became my friends and therefore, influencers. And thank God they have! I have never felt so inspired or driven than I have in these last six months. I’m lucky enough to be around a group of people who are intelligent, risk takers, talented, genuine, creative, passionate and dedicated… people that have awareness outside of themselves and who have accomplished some pretty impressive feats. Thanks to their influence, I’m re-enrolled in school for the first time in three years and have a plan for my life, my career, my goals. I finally kicked my napping habit and am outside far more, I’m trying new things, I’m blogging, I’m active, I’m happy! Being around people who are successful and interesting makes me want to be the same. One of my favorite thing my boyfriend rebuttals me with from time to time is the phrase “compared to who?”. Such a simple phrase that is oddly powerful to think about. It is human nature to adapt to the speed of those around us, so it makes it all the more important to choose your influences wisely!
Don’t be afraid to move away from friendships that have gone stale. Ambivalent relationships are incredibly draining on your psyche and there’s no shame in realizing that someone who once was a pillar in your life is no longer good for you. It’s okay to distance yourself from those who drain you.. a couple years back I experienced a situation in which people who were once my friends transformed into triggers that reminded me of a situation that I am not longer attached to- a situation that was very toxic and negative in my life. Putting distance between myself and these people was one of the best things I’ve done for myself. Not that they were bad people, but they were bad for me. It’s important to realize that distinction. And when negative influence stops taking up space in your life, positive influence seems to find you. It’s the law of attraction.. give your energy towards good things and good things will find you.
About ambivalent friendships… click HERE for a video that altered my perception.